Not long ago, I got asked if I was available to record a bass track. I said yes, recorded the track, and sent it off. What came next was a surprise—and not the good kind.
The “client” told me I needed to deposit money into their account first before I could get paid. Scam.
That experience made me stop and ask: how can I keep myself open to real opportunities, while protecting my energy from the ones that drain or exploit me? I realized I needed a set of creative collaboration boundaries—not just to guard against scams, but to make sure every “yes” I give feels safe, aligned, and energizing.
Here’s what I came up with, and maybe it’ll help you too.
Why Boundaries Matter in Creative Work
If you’re a musician, artist, or multi-passionate creator, you’ve probably gotten vague messages like:
- “Let’s collab.”
- “I’ll pay you… exposure.”
- “Can you just whip something up real quick?”
At best, these requests are unclear. At worst, they’re manipulative. Without clear boundaries, you risk:
- Wasting time on projects that go nowhere.
- Feeling drained or becoming resentful.
- Falling into scams or unfair “arrangements.”
Boundaries aren’t about being cold or only talking money—they’re about protecting your energy, clarifying expectations, and creating space for collaborations that actually inspire you.
My Personal Ground Rules
These are the rules I now follow any time someone reaches out about a collaboration, project, or gig:
Clarity First
I don’t commit until I know what the project is, who it’s for, and what the expectations are—style, length, deadlines, rights, and payment method.
No Upfront Payments From Me
Money only flows one direction: to me. If someone asks for deposits or “processing fees,” it’s a red flag.
Written Agreement
Even if it’s an informal, I like to summarize the scope and payment in writing. That way both of us are on the same page.
Respect for Energy
If a request feels pushy, vague, or off, I allow myself to say no—without overexplaining.
Balanced Value
Collaborations don’t have to be paid to be worthwhile, but they should always be a fair exchange—whether that’s creative growth, audience sharing, or financial compensation.
How to Communicate Your Boundaries
Setting boundaries is one thing. Communicating them clearly—and kindly—is another. Here are some scripts I use:
Initial Screening
“Thanks for reaching out! I’d like to know more about your project—like style, timeline, and how you’re planning to handle payment? That’ll help me see if I’m the right fit.”
If They’re Unclear
“I want to make sure I understand the full picture before committing. Could you outline what you’re envisioning and what role you see me playing?”
If It’s Paid Work
“My process is simple: once we agree on scope, I’ll send an invoice and begin once the first payment is confirmed. Does that work for you?”
If It’s a Collab (non-paid)
“I’m open to collaborations when there’s clear value on both sides. What do you see as the creative or audience benefit for each of us?”
If It Feels Off
“I don’t think this one’s the right fit for me right now. Wishing you the best with it.”
Common Red Flags to Watch Out For
Over time, I’ve noticed certain patterns that almost always signal trouble. Here are a few red flags I’ve learned to pay attention to:
- Dancing Around Compensation
This one shows up often. Someone reaches out asking if I’m available for a collaboration. When I ask for basic details—like compensation—they avoid the question, talk in circles, or shift the topic to other details. This is a huge red flag. They’re showing me, right up front, that they don’t value me, my needs, or my boundaries. In the past, I ignored my gut and went along for the ride, and every time I learned the hard way that my gut was right all along. - Vague Project Descriptions
If someone can’t clearly explain what they want or why they’re reaching out, it usually means they don’t know—or worse, they don’t respect my time enough to clarify. - Pressure Tactics
“I need this right now” or “this is urgent” can sometimes be real—but often it’s a way to rush you into saying yes without thinking. - Too Good to Be True
Offers that sound overblown, overly generous, or unrealistic usually are. If the opportunity feels off balance, it probably is.
Filters to Protect Your Energy
Before I say yes, I run a quick check:
- Do I know who this person is? (Google them, check socials, see if we have mutuals.)
- Do I understand what they’re asking? (Scope, timeline, payment, purpose.)
- Is there clear, fair compensation—financial or otherwise?
- Does this energize me, or make me feel drained just thinking about it?
If the answers aren’t clear, I don’t move forward.
What This Does for Me (and Can Do for You)
Since putting these creative collaboration boundaries in place, I feel lighter. I don’t second-guess myself as much. My energy is protected. And when I do say yes, I know it’s aligned.
For you, boundaries can mean:
- A confident yes or no.
- Declining without the feeling of guilt.
- Avoiding burnout and scams.
- Saving energy for the projects that matter most.
Final Thoughts
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re doorways with clear signs. They let the right opportunities in while keeping the wrong ones out.
If you’ve been burned before, like I was, maybe it’s time to write down your own rules, scripts, and filters. Protect your energy. Clarify your collaborations. Keep creating from a place that feels safe and inspired.
For more insights on the artistic life and sustainable creativity, browse Creative Life & Tools →
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do creatives need boundaries in collaborations?
Boundaries protect your time, energy, and safety. They help you avoid scams, vague expectations, and draining projects so you can say yes to the opportunities that are aligned and sustainable.
How do I politely ask for details about a collaboration?
You can say something like: “Thanks for reaching out! Could you share more about the project—style, timeline, expectations, and how you’re handling payment? That’ll help me see if I’m the right fit.”
What are common red flags in creative collaboration requests?
Red flags include dancing around compensation, vague project descriptions, pressure tactics (“urgent” without clarity), and offers that seem too good to be true or out of balance.
How can I say no to a collaboration without burning bridges?
Keep it simple and kind: “I don’t think this one’s the right fit for me right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me. Wishing you the best with the project.”
Do all good collaborations have to be paid?
Not necessarily—but there should always be balanced value. That can look like creative growth, audience sharing, or fair financial compensation. If the exchange feels one-sided, it’s worth reconsidering.
